Signs Of Negative Thinking

People would have better lives, if they just spot their negative thinking habits and replace them with positive ones. Negative thinking, has a way of creeping into conversations and our thinking without our noticing them. The key to success is learning to spot these thoughts and squash them and replace them with positive ones. You’ll notice a huge difference in everything you do.  Just see some of the common ways that negative thinking emerges. Learn to spot these patterns, and practice replacing them with positive thinking patterns. It has made all the difference in the world for me.

1. I will be happy once I have achieved my goal.

Problem: If you think you will be happy only when you reach a certain point, or when you
reach a certain income, or have a certain type of house or a car etc., you will never be happy. That goal is elusive. Once we reach those goals, we are not satisfied — we want more.

Solution: Learn to be happy with what you have, where you are, and who you are, right at this moment. Happiness doesn’t have to be some state that we want to get to eventually — it can be found right now. Learn to count your blessings, and see the positive in your situation. This might sound simplistic, but it works.
2. I wish I were as like so and so (a celebrity, friend, co-worker).
Problem: We’ll never be as pretty, as talented, as rich, as sculpted, as cool, as everyone else. There will always be someone better, if you look hard enough. Therefore, if we compare ourselves to others like this, we will always pale, and will always fail, and will always feel bad about ourselves. This is no way to be happy.
Solution: Stop comparing yourself to others, and look instead at yourself — what are your strengths, your accomplishments, your successes, however small? What do you love about yourself? Learn to love who you are, right now, not who you want to become. There is good in each of us, love in each of us, and a wonderful human spirit in every one of us.
3. Seeing others becoming successful makes me jealous and resentful.
Problem: First, this assumes that only a small number of people can be successful. In truth, many, many people can be successful — in different ways.
Solution: Learn to admire the success of others, and learn from it, and be happy for them, by mpathizing with them and understanding what it must be like to be them. And then turn away from them, and look at yourself. You can be successful too, in whatever you choose to do. And even more, you already are successful. Look not at those above you in the social ladder, but those below you. There are always millions of people worse off than you, people who couldn’t even read this article or afford a computer. In that light, you are a huge success.
4. I am a miserable failure --- I can’t seem to do anything right.
Problem: Everyone has failed, many times, at different things. I have certainly failed so many times in many things, and I continue to fail daily. However, looking at your failures as failures only makes you feel bad about yourself. By thinking in this way, we will have a negative self-image and never move on from here.
Solution: See your successes and ignore your failures. Look back on your life, in the last month, or year, or 5 years. And try to remember your successes. If you have trouble with this, start documenting them, keep a success journal, either in a notebook or online. Document your success each day, or each week. When you look back at what you’ve accomplished, over a year, you will be amazed. It’s an incredibly positive feeling.
5. I’m going to beat so-and-so no matter what — I’m better than him. And there’s no way I’ll help him succeed — he might beat me.
Problem: Competitiveness assumes that there is a small amount of gold to be had, and I need to get it before he does. It makes us into greedy, back-stabbing, hurtful people. We try to claw our way over people to get to success, because of our competitive feelings. For example, if a blogger wants to have more subscribers than another blogger, he may never link to or mention that other blogger. However, who is to say that my subscribers can’t also be yours? People can read and subscribe to more than one blog.
Solution: Learn to see success as something that can be shared, and learn that if we help each other out, we can each have a better chance to be successful. Two people working towards a common goal are better than two people trying to beat each other up to get to that goal. There is more than enough success to go around. Learn to think in terms of abundance rather than scarcity.
6. Why do these bad things always happen to me?
Problem: Bad things happen to everybody. If we dwell on them, they will frustrate us and bring us down. Solution: See bad things as a flow of life. Suffering is a part of the human condition, but it passes. All pain goes away, eventually. Meanwhile, don’t let it hold you back. Don’t dwell on bad things, but look forward towards something good in your future. And learn to take the bad things in stride, and learn from them. Bad things are actually opportunities to grow and learn and get stronger, in disguise.
7. You can’t do anything right! Why can’t you be like … ?
Problem: This can be said to your child or your subordinate or your sibling.  Comparing two people is wrong. People are different, with different ways of doing things, different strengths and weaknesses, different human characteristics. If we were all the same, we’d be robots. Then, saying negative things like this to another person never helps the situation. It might make you feel better, and more powerful, but in truth, it hurts your relationship, it will actually make you feel negative, and it will certainly make the other person feel negative and more likely to continue negative behavior. Everyone loses.
Solution: Take the mistakes or bad behavior of others as an opportunity to teach. Show them how to do something. Second, praise them for their positive behavior, and encourage their success. Last, and most important, love them for who they are, and celebrate their differences. 8. Your work sucks. You are an idiot. Problem: I’ve actually got this comment before. It feels wonderful. However, let’s look at it not from the perspective of the person receiving this kind of comment but from the perspective of the person giving it. How does saying something negative like this help you? I guess it might feel good to vent if you feel like your time has been wasted. But really, how much of your time has been wasted? A few minutes? And whose fault is that? The bloggers or yours? In truth, making negative comments just keeps you in a negative mindset. It’s also not a good way to make friends.
Solution: Learn to offer constructive solutions, first of all. Instead of telling someone their blog sucks, or that a post is bad, offer some specific suggestions for improvement. Help them get better. If you are going to take the time to make a comment, make it worth your time. Second, learn to interact with people in a more positive way. It makes others feel good and it makes you feel better about yourself. You will make some great friends this way, which is a good thing.
9. Insulting People Back
Problem: If someone insults you or angers you in some way, insulting them back and continuing your anger only transfers their problem to you. This person was probably having a bad day (or a bad year) and took it out on you for some reason. If you reciprocate, you are now having a bad day too. His problem has become yours. Not only that, but the cycle of insults can get worse and worse until it results in violence or other negative consequences , for both of you.
Solution: Let the insults or negative comments of others slide off you like Teflon. Don’t let their problem become yours. In fact, try to understand their problem more — why would someone say something like that? What problems are they going through? Having a little empathy for someone not only makes you understand that their comment is not about you, but it can make you feel and act in a positive manner towards them and make you feel better about yourself in the process.
10. I don’t think I can do this, I will do it later.
 Problem: If you think you cannot do something, you probably won’t. Discipline has nothing to do with it. Motivation and focus has everything to do with it. And if you put stuff off for “some other time”, you’ll never get it done. Negative thinking like this inhibits us from accomplishing anything.
Solution: Turn your thinking around,you can do this! You don’t need discipline. Find ways to make yourself a success at your goal. If you fail, learn from your mistakes, and try again. Instead of putting a goal off for later, start now. And focus on one goal at a time, putting all of your energy into it, and getting as much help from others as you can. You can really move mountains if you start with positive thinking.

renukakkar

originally posted on FB on 27.6.2016

Stress Management

Introduction

People all over the world teach you stress management. But in actual fact
they are teaching you about stress management. They are never in a
position to give you relief from the problem. Medicines are just 20% of the
cure. Rest depends on how we control our emotions. Stress is now a big
problem not only in offices but also in schools.

What is Stress ?

Stress is when we feel we are overloaded with work. There is too much
pressure to stick to targets and it is not possible to achieve the desired
results in a short duration of time.We feel unable to cope and also that a
stage of collapse of all our systems is inevitable. In other words anything
that threatens our well-being is a stress. Let me point out here that some
sort of stress is said to be good for you as it keeps you on your toes.
Frankly speaking without any stress our lives would be boring. However,
when the stresses hampers our state of mind, at the mental level,
emotional level and also at the physical health, then it is bad and needs
to be addressed.

How is stress caused?

One person may feel something as stressful and another may not. There
are triggers that can cause stress just by thinking over accumulated painful
thoughts. These are loss of a family member, family problems, financial
matters, illness, job issues, conflicts in the workplace, losing your job, lack
of time, relationships eg divorce, abortion, pregnancy, becoming a mother
or a father, driving in bad traffic,fear of crime, miscarriage, noises and
crowds, pollution,retirement, uncertainty ( academic exam results about to
be declared, job interview results, laboratory test results, etc),bullying
later on at school, teachers getting after a particular student etc

Sometimes without any rhyme or reason a person can feel stressed. A
feeling of frustration, anxiety and depression can make some people
feel stressed more easily than others.

When we are stressed the following happens:

Breathing becomes more rapid Digestive system slows down Heart rate increases, palpitation Immune system goes affected Muscles become tense We do not sleep (heightened state of alertness) Blood pressure increases The way you respond to a stressful situation also causes stress. Part of
your response to a challenge is physiological and affects your physical
state. When faced with a challenge or a threat, your body activates
resources to protect you - to either get away as fast as you can, or fight.
This is called the fight or flight syndrome.

Physical effect of can be Back pain, Chest pain,Childhood obesity, Cramps
or muscle spasms, Fainting spells, Headaches, heart disease, hypertension,
low immunity, Muscular aches, Nervous twitches, pins and needles, Sleeping
difficulties, stomach upsets etc. At the emotional level it can be Anger, Anxiety,
tiredness, depression,insecurity, irritation, forgetfulness, lack of concentration,
restlessness, sadness etc

A stressed person will start to eating too much or eat too little, food cravings,
angry outbursts, alcohol/drug abuse, high tobacco consumption, reserved
personality, bouts of crying, relationship issues.

How to deal with stress :-

The doctor will prescribe medication which will just make you sleep. He will
advise you to be assertiveness and not to say yes to everything. If you can't
do something say you can't. Distribute responsibility, No alcohol and drugs
or coffee, either stop or cut down, Learn to breathe and relax. exercise and
have a nutritional diet, spend time with family friends and colleagues by
talking to them, spend time for yourself.

Finally join yoga, massage or meditation.

Yoga is something that requires time of at least an hour.Meditation is the best
option and can effectively help in getting rid of stress. It hardly takes 20
minutes a day. It helps us in thinking positive about situations. We can

access positive energies and with the help of these positive energies we can
effectively remove the negative energies and the blocks in the body. You do
not have to be a Reiki master or a Reiki student to do such meditation.
Instant results are there within 20 minutes. I have done my technique three
times at mass gatherings of 45-50 persons in June 2008, of 70-75 persons
in May 2012 and of 40 persons in September 2016. They felt light,
headaches disappeared, stomach aches disappeared, some even felt the
vibrations of negative energies leaving their feet.

If needed, companies may contact me for seminars etc on this issue,
in respect of their employees.

renukakkar, 29.12.2016.

What is Graphology?

What is Graphology?

Meaning of Graphology  

The study of handwriting and handwriting analysis is called Graphology.  It is now an accepted and increasingly used technique for assessment of people in organizations. Handwriting analysis is an effective and reliable indicator of personality and behaviour, and so is a useful tool for many organizational processes, for example: recruitment, interviewing and selection, team-building, counselling, and career-planning.

Elaine Quigley BA Hons., MBIG Dip, is a leading expert graphologist, and chair of the British Institute of Graphologists. Elaine describes graphology as  brainwriting' - the handwriting comes directly from the writer in a uniquely personal and individual way, irrespective of how the person has been taught to write: an expert graphologist understands the styles of the different countries and languages and makes allowances for 'taught' influences. Also largely irrelevant to the actual analysis is the content of the written text.

The science of graphology uses at least 300 different handwriting features in its investigative approach. The graphologist's interpretation skill is in the psychological art of understanding the particular blend of handwriting features - an expert is able to see the writer 'step off the page'.

History of Graphology

A person's handwriting - the script - and its placing on the page express the unique impulses of the individual: logically, the brain sends signals along the muscles to the writing implement they control. By examining a handwriting sample, an expert graphologist is able to identify relevant features of the handwritten script, and the way the features interact. The features, and interaction between them, provide the information for the analysis. (No single handwriting sample will exhibit all 300 different features of course - a typical analysis will involve far less).

No single handwriting  anything spcific or absolut by itself; a single feature alone can only identify a trend.  It is the combination of features, and the interaction between them that enables a full and clear interpretation.

Graphology is actually a very old and respected science - the study of handwriting and its analysis was first developed by the Chinese 3,000 years ago. The Romans used graphology, and through the centuries since then various civilisations and cultures have analysed handwriting to identify the essence of the person who produced it.

The modern approach to handwriting analysis was established by a group of French clerics, led by Abbe Michon, who defined key aspects of the science in the 1870s, after 30 years of study. This work formed the basis of modern graphology, although the science is still being researched and expanded today.

Professional graphologists operate to a strict code of ethics, and these experts are constantly in demand; those who use it recognise its value in the workplace as an additional method of understanding character. It is therefore an extremely useful tool in identifying the quality and capacity of an individual's talents and potential, particularly in career guidance and improving relationships. Like other powerful behavioural or intuitive models, it is not easy to explain how and why graphology works, nevertheless it continues to be used, respected and appreciated by many because it achieves a high level of results.

A guide to handwriting features :-

As previously stated there are around 300 features - this introductory article attempts to explain some of the basic ones that can be readily understood and which give interesting information.

slant

Right slant indicates a response to communication, but not how it takes place. For example, the writer may wish to be friendly, manipulative, responsive, intrusive, to sell, to control, to be loving, supportive, just to name some possibilities.

If the handwriting is generally upright, this indicates independence.

A left slant tendency shows emotion and reserve. This writer needs to be true to self first and foremost and can be resentful if others try to push for more commitment from them.

size

Handwriting is made up of three zones - or cases - middle, upper and lower. A basic average measure - or benchmark - by which size can be judged is 3mm per zone. This gives a benchmark for a non-remarkable full height of 9mm. More than this is large; less than this is small.

Large size handwriting can mean extrovert and outgoing, or it can mean that the writer puts on an act of confidence, although this behaviour might not be exhibited to strangers.

Small size can, logically, mean the opposite. Small size handwriting can also indicate a thinker and an academic, depending upon other features in the script.

If the writing is small and delicate, the writer is unlikely to be a good communicator with anyone other than those on their own particular wavelength. These people do not generally find it easy to break new ground socially.

pressure

Heavy pressure indicates commitment and taking things seriously, but if the pressure is excessively heavy, that writer gets very uptight at times and can react quickly to what they might see as criticism, even though none may have been intended. These writers react first and ask questions afterwards.

Light pressure shows sensitivity to atmosphere and empathy to people, but can also, if the pressure is uneven, show lack of vitality.

upper zone or case (as in l, t, h, etc)

Tall upper strokes are reaching towards goals and ambitions or, if they are very extended, there may be unrealistic expectations of what the person feels they must achieve.

If there are reasonably proportioned upper zone loops, this indicates someone who likes to think things through and use their imagination in a sensible way. Wider upper zone loops indicate more of a tendency to dream up ideas and mull them over.

If the up-stroke goes up and then returns on top of itself, the writer may be squeezing out imagination and keeping to the basic requirement of getting down to the job in hand.

lower zone (as in g, y, p, etc)

Lower loops are also varied and have different meanings.

For example a straight stroke shows impatience to get the job done.

A 'cradle' lower stroke suggests an avoidance of aggression and confrontation.

A full loop with heavy pressure indicates energy/money-making/sensuality possibilities, subject to correlation with other features.

A full lower loop with light pressure indicates a need or wish for security.

If there are many and varied shapes in the lower zone, the writer may feel unsettled and unfocused emotionally. Again the handwriting analyst would look for this to be indicated by other features in the script.

word spacing

The benchmark by which to judge wide or narrow spacing between words is the width of one letter of the person's handwriting.

Wide spaces between words are saying - 'give me breathing space'.

Narrow spaces between words indicate a wish to be with others, but such writers may also crowd people and be intrusive, notably if the writing lacks finesse.

line spacing

Handwriting samples are always best on unlined paper, and particularly for exhibiting line-spacing features.

Wide-spaced lines of handwriting show a wish to stand back and take a long view.

Closely spaced lines indicates that that the writer operates close to the action. For writers who do this and who have writing that is rather loose in structure, the discipline of having to keep cool under pressure brings out the best in them.

page margins

The sides of the page each have a meaning.

The left side margin shows the roots and beginnings/family.

The right side shows other people and the future.

The top is goals and ambitions.

The foot of the page shows energy, instincts and practicality.

Therefore margins are very informative.

If the writer has a wide left margin, the interest is in moving on. If it is narrow, caution and wanting to avoid being pushed before they are ready is indicated.

Narrow right margin shows impatience and eagerness to get out there and on with things.

Wide right margin shows that there may be some fear of the unknown.

middle zone or case (as in a, c, e, etc)

These middle zone shapes can give some particularly interesting information.

The middle zone in the script represents the ego - from it we get a lot of information as to how the writer feels and acts in public settings - what makes them tick socially and at work.

Some people's handwriting consists of only one single style, but many people will have a mixture of two handwriting styles or more.

Again this provides useful information.

All of these features have potentially positive and negative connotations; the analyst uses the flow and facility (ease, smoothness) of the script to infer a positive or negative interpretation.

arcade

This means that the middle zone of the writing is humped and rounded at the top like a series of arches. It is in the basic style of copy-book, though it is not taught in all schools. Writers who use this can be loyal, protective, independent, trustworthy and methodical, but negatively they can be secretive, stubborn and hypocritical when they choose. The most important characteristic is group solidarity against outsiders.

garland

Garland is like an inverted 'arcade' and is a people-orientated script. These writers make their m's, n's and h's in the opposite way to the arcade writer, like cups, or troughs, into which people can pour their troubles or just give information. The Garland writer enjoys being helpful and likes to be involved.

angle

Angled middle zone is the analytical style, the sharp points, rather than curves, give the impression of probing. The angle writer, is better employing talents at work and for business or project purposes, rather than nurturing, which is the strength of the garland writer.

As with any indicators of personality style, the interpretation doesn't mean that each writer needs to be categorised and prevented or dissuaded from spreading their talents and interests, but the analysis can helpfully show where the person's strengths can be best employed.

thread

Thread handwriting is like unravelled wool, waiting to be made up into something fresh. These writers are mentally alert and adaptable, but can also be elusive and lack patience. They are responders, rather than initiators. They can be very clever at drawing together strands of information and making something of them. Therefore they observe and bide their time, so that decisions are made at the most appropriate moment.

wavyline

Wavyline handwriting is often an amalgam of all or most of the other forms and is usually written by people who are mentally mature and skilful. It shows that they can call on a variety of responses, to suit the occasion and indicates good coping mechanisms. They are adaptable and resourceful.

These features and interpretations provide a small but useful guide as to the way people behave, and particularly how they handle their social requirements. Check your own handwriting against these pointers to see what you can learn or confirm about yourself, and see also how effective even just a few simple graphology techniques can be in revealing personality style.

Understanding the personality through handwriting is a valuable way of making the best of both personal awareness and interpersonal situations for the benefit of all concerned.

The aim in using graphology to analyse a person's handwriting must always be positive. The interpretation should enable people analysed to use the understanding gained, to help them live their lives to the highest level of satisfaction that they choose. In a professional or organizational context, graphology can play an important part in enabling working relationships to be forged that will enhance the quality of the group or team performance.

As a child you were taught to write, but it's not likely that you still write in the way you were taught. 

Elaine Quigley BA Hons., MBIG (Dip) is a leading graphologist, psychologist and past chairman of the British Institute of Graphologists. (She now edits the Insitute's journal). Elaine offers advice for staff selection, counselling, lecturing, exhibition presentations, public speaking, and for TV, radio and newspaper articles. Elaine's background in dealing with individual clients and national companies has given her the flexibility and experience to provide valuable support in decision-making and interpersonal perception.

Excerpts from an article by Elaine Quigley, leading graphologist

Granny's Return From Heaven as an Incredible Car

The book was under publication  and has finally come out in

 print in mid June 2011. Please consider buying for your 

children and also for that child in you :)

“Granny’s return from heaven as an incredible car” is a lovely tale, exquisitely Indian. Children of all countries and all ages can find information and answers to many disparate questions inside this book: from plants, to stars, etc., friendship and good behavior also thanks to the many proverbs that young grandma provides them with. “Learning with fun” is indeed the motto of this story, which blends together feelings, miracles, teachings and a touch of mystery…

            Book review by Matteo Micci, an Italian author and poet of children’s books

The book is available at the following webstores :-

 http://www.nbcindia.com/Descriptions.asp?6v6yr_vq=LLKIMJE&Book=Grannys-Return-from-Heaven-as-an-Incredible-Car

http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/Grannys-Return-Heaven-Incredible-Car-by-/140567680494

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Grannys-Return-Heaven-Incredible-Car/dp/1449098592

http://www.authorhouse.com/Bookstore/BookDetail.aspx?BookId=SKU-000368916

http://www.whsmith.co.uk/CatalogAndSearch/ProductDetails.aspx?ProductID=9781449098599

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/grannys-return-from-heaven-as-an-incredible-car-renu-kakkar/1031504872

                       

http://www.a1webstores.com/granny-s-return-from-heaven/itemdetail/1449098592/


http://books.google.com/books/about/Granny_s_Return_from_Heaven_as_an_Incred.html?id=fWebZwEACAAJ

Meaning of Happiness?

 


Happiness means different things to different people. 

1.For a new born baby, happiness may be a warm hug from his mother.

2.For an employee, a few words of appreciation from the boss. 

3.A wonderful performance makes a sportsman happy. 4.

4.For an expatriate, it’s the voice of the loved ones from his native 

land. 

5.For true lovers meeting each other after a long time. 

6.A smile from a passerby could also make us happy. 

7.For a student 

History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ? 

Student : sir, I am not sure but think from page 15 to 26 sir.... 

8.For the parents to educate their children and settle them well. 

9.They are later on cared for as they have cared for their children. 

10.For the elderly to be able to do all their chores without assistance 

and to walk without support. 

11.The supreme happiness of life, no matter what the age, is the 

conviction that we are loved...


renukakkar 21.5.2011

A Layman's Commandments

Someone has written these beautiful words. Must read and try to understand the deep meaning of it. 
They are like the ten commandments to follow in life all the time. 

1] Prayer is not a "spare wheel" that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a "steering wheel" that directs the right path throughout. 

2] So a Car's WINDSHIELD is so large & the Rear view Mirror is so small? Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. So, Look Ahead and Move on. 

3] Friendship is like a BOOK. It takes few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write. 

4] All things in life are temporary. If going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever. If going wrong, don't worry, they can't last long either. 

5] Old Friends are Gold! New Friends are Diamond! If you get a Diamond, don't forget the Gold! Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a Base of Gold! 

6] Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from above and says, "Relax" it's just a bend, not the end! 

7] When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when GOD doesn't solve your problems HE has faith in your abilities.   

8] When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them, and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you.

9] WORRYING does not take away tomorrow's TROUBLES, it takes away today's PEACE. 


10]  Smiling is infectious. please pass it to others. It may brighten someone's day.


renukakkar 20.5.2011