One Line Humor

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.  [2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.  [3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!  [4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.  [5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.  [6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.  [7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.  [8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.  [9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.  [10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.  [11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.  [12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.  [13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.  [14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.  [15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.  [16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.  [17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.  [18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.  [19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.  [20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something  [21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!  [22] Man: Is there any way for long life?  Dr: Get married.  Man: Will it help?  Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.  [23]Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!  [24]Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?  Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.  [25]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs. Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.  [26]There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.  [27]There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!